sushi rollin’

…yeah that’s what I said.

There are days when I just want  Read the rest of this entry »

4 AM. 4:30 AM. 5 AM….aaaaand now I can’t go back to sleep. 

YOUR BLADDER IS NOT ACTUALLY THAT SMALL PIXIE YOU LIAR. GOD. YOU ARE SO DISOWNED. 

Leaving for work in a few hours and I can’t get back to sleep. T_T Will probably zonk out on the bus. AM NEVER HAVING CHILDREN. EVER.

I was picking up a prescription from Rite-Aid yesterday and this 30-something year old woman walks up to the shelf next to the pharmacy counter in the most awkward, ‘I am so slick and ninja you don’t see me at all’ manner ever, grabs about 4 boxes of condoms. She’s like, halfway turned to head towards checkout when the very, very old man pharmacist looks up from my prescription, takes off his bifocals, and tells her

“you know there’s a five dollar rebate on the 12 packs of durex, right?”  

 MORAL OF STORY: DO NOT BUY YOUR CONDOMS FROM RITE-AID, KIDS. THE PHARMACIST IS WATCHING.

So I bought a Macbook and am now significantly poorer. On a brighter note, Photoshop CS3 starts up in about 5 seconds and the beautiful font rendering makes my heart sing. No, really. Also fun is abusing the pop art filter on Photobooth. Which I’ve done way too much the past few days.

I am totally addicted Reuters’ ‘Oddly Enough’ section, so by now I’m pretty much immune to their matter-of-fact reporting of totally bizarre incidents of all kinds. Sloppy Thai policemen forced to wear Hello Kitty armbands as internal disciplinary measures? Ahah sure. Sicilian 61-year old whining about having his allowance taken away by his mother? Um, okay. 

This one pretty much takes the cake though:

Russian pet crocodile jumps 12 floors out of his owner’s apartment window to escape.

…for the third time.

“…concerned neighbors [said] it was the third time he had used that method to flee.”         

Furthermore,

The crocodile lost one tooth in the latest fall but was otherwise unscathed, said a spokeswoman for the emergencies ministry in the Nizhny Novgorod region of central Russia.         

“Emergency services” (I’m hoping this was the spirit of Steve Irwin) tossed the croc in an aquarium to recover from his single lost tooth, and

“Within a few hours his concerned owner came to pick him up and the crocodile was last seen lying on the back seat of his owner’s car.”         

…I don’t even know, man.

Kou: who keeps a man-eating beast for a pet?!   

Ni: i think the only surprise is that the man hasn’t been cited by animal rights for not protecting his croc better against self-damaging escape plans.

Ni: i bet it hit its head the first time down.

Ni: steve irwin would be horrified.

Ni: THREE TIMES. my god.

Kou: maybe it concussed itself so badly it couldn’t form short-term memories.

Kou: such as THIS WOULD BE A BAD IDEA TO TRY AGAIN.    

…I’m so productive in my spare time.